Thursday, August 04, 2005

Sports Guy...

... is one of the few writers whose entire output I read with pleasure. A few days ago he even managed to make hockey interesting for a few thousand words. (His comment on the new rules restricting the movement of goalies: "Confused? So am I. They should have gone with Plan B -- tying the goalie to the net with a 10-foot chain, almost like how you would tie up your pet rottweiler outside. Wouldn't that be fun to see goalies occasionally forgetting about the chain, skating towards an errant puck, then cruelly getting yanked backward when the chain extends too far? Plus, they could potentially get caught up in the chain, or use it to trip other players … really, I see no downside here. Although it will be loads of fun to hear Barry Melrose pronounce the word 'Trapezoid.'")

But I particularly enjoy it when he writes about the NBA. As he would put it, he and I are two of the NBA's 20 remaining fans. So I was happy to see his 3000-word-plus, Anchorman-flavored discussion of the NBA summer so far. Sports Guy picks Indiana as next year's favorite (nah), jokes about Greg Ostertag coming back to Utah (I loved that too) and has the following to say about Milwaukee:
"[The Bucks] invigorated their franchise with the following moves:

• They spent $90 million for Michael Redd, a nice enough player who has a zero percent chance of ever making an All-NBA team.

• They used the No. 1 pick in the 2005 Draft on Andrew Bogut, who looked shaky enough in summer league games that there hasn't been this many people cringing in Milwaukee since Jeffrey Dahmer was still running amok.

• They spent $30 million for Dan Gadzuric, an energy guy whose per-minute rebounding stats were surprisingly good (8.3 boards in less than 20 minutes a game). In fact, I liked this signing. But this has to mark the first time in NBA history that a team drafted a center No. 1 overall, then spent another $30 million on an insurance plan just in case that No. 1 pick didn't pan out. Not a ton of faith there.

• They overpaid a little ($47 million) for Simmons, one of my favorite players in the league ... unfortunately, they already have Redd and Desmond Mason at the swingman positions. A truly goofy signing unless they plan on moving Mason.

• They announced that T.J. Ford was back, and that his surgically-repaired spine can finally withstand the rigors of an NBA season ... but it's probably a good idea if he doesn't drive to the basket as much. I'm not making this up."


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